JD Sparks

JD Sparks

I understand some of you might be confused so allow me to...explain. For the first time ever, let me tell you all the real, true, not at all something I made up half over the last day half on the fly right now story of how JD Sparks came to be.

ɎɆ₴ ₥Ɇ₳₮ ₮ɆⱠⱠ ₮ⱧɆ₥. ₴₱ⱤɆ₳Đ ₥Ɏ ⱠɆ₲Ɇ₦Đ

Oh my god shut up and I will. ANYWAYS. Perhaps "came to be" isn't the right phrase, since as far as I know, JD has always been. You see, JD was never a separate person, nor was he just me playing a character when I wanted to play hands up and euro, or a split personality or anything like that. That's all bullshit. It's always been bullshit. JD is...a thing. I don't know what. A demon? A ghost with a sick sense of humour? I couldn't tell you. He claims that he has existed since before the dawn of humanity, and that he will persist long after we're dust. My best theory is that he's some kind of...malevolent cosmic entity, to whom time does not apply, and I'm merely the latest in a long line of host bodies. Anchors in time he uses to, like he said, spread his legend, across time and space. He shows me things sometimes. Blasting Run Away for the dinosaurs. Teaching cavemen the Macarena. Numa Numa dancing his way across battlefields during World War 2 (incidentally, he really does not like nazis, as he made sure to step on every single one he could find).

ɎɆ₴ ₣Ʉ₵₭ ₦₳Ⱬł₴

Okay maybe not COMPLETELY malevolent. But he definitely does not have the best interests of humanity at heart, and CERTAINLY not mine.


Ugh. But there's...more. Flashes of places that have never existed. I think maybe they're places that WILL exist sometime in the future. And not just on Earth. Strange beings on strange worlds, ranging from humanoid (indeed, very human-like, as if they're long descended from future humans that will take to the stars), all the way up to impossible, angular THINGS the human mind was never intended to comprehend. It's only through the extra level of perception being his host affords me that I was even able to vaguely make sense of them without going immediately mad.


Yeah mad at YOU shut the fuck up and let me talk. But through everything he has shown me, there are always constants. The pink, for starters. Sometimes small bits, accessories, like last night. Sometimes decked out head to toe. The sunglasses, which I'll talk more about later. And the music. Always euro, regardless of when, which is what led me to believe that he exists, in his true form, outside of time and space as we understand it. Unless the flashes and images he has shown me are fabrications, he has somehow had access to music, and the equipment to play it, in eras where those things should not exist. It's impossible for them to. It's as if he reached his consciousness out across time, discovered really good dance music from Earth in the 1990s, and decided "yep I'll have me some of that". Hands up and 2000s commercial dance/pop trance too, although nowhere near to the same degree as euro. He doesn't appear to have much of that stuff anymore, as if he gave it up. He may take it up again one day, who knows. I can't predict what he does, you try understanding the mind of a cosmic creature that took up residence inside you so it could play eurodance for people, that shit makes NO sense.

฿Ɇ₵₳Ʉ₴Ɇ ɎØɄⱤ ₥ł₦Đ ł₴ ₩Ɇ₳₭

Strong enough to be holding you at bay right now, can't be that weak.

₣ØⱤ ₦Ø₩ ₥Ɇ₳₮. ₦Ø₮ ₣ØⱤɆVɆⱤ

Yeah we'll see about that. So that's the WHAT he is, or at least as I understand it. A cosmic entity with a taste for eurodance that infests hosts across time and space in order to spread...I don't know. The music? His own fame? Both? I have tried to find that one out, but that's one thing he has never deigned to share with me. He says my, sigh, "feeble meat brain" is too simple to understand his motivations.

ł₮ ł₴

Eat an ENTIRE bag of dicks. MOVING ON. That's the WHAT. But what about HOW? How did I end up with this pink clothes sunglasses wearing cosmic eurodance DJ living inside me? Well, as with quite a lot of the other shitty things that have happened to me in my life, I fucked up. At exactly the right moment in exactly the right way to kick off a chain of events that will fuck up my life for years to come. But that part of the story will have to wait a bit. I have some work to do, and I can't neglect it. If I let things slip too much he'll take over completely. He almost did. More on that next time.

ł₮ ₩Ø₦'₮ ₥₳₮₮ɆⱤ. ł ₩łⱠⱠ Ⱨ₳VɆ ɎØɄ ₴ØØ₦

Not if I can help it asshole. Not if I can help it.

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[PARENTDIR]Parent Directory  -
[SND]J.D. Sparks - In Da Club.mp32016-06-06 15:06 70M
[SND]J.D. Sparks - Mister Fantastic.mp32016-06-06 15:10 106M
[SND]J.D. Sparks - Civic Nation.mp32016-06-06 15:11 103M
[SND]J.D. Sparks - Live at Atomic Lollipop 2012.mp32016-06-06 15:12 139M
[SND]J.D. Sparks - Live at Atomic Lollipop 2015.mp32016-06-06 15:12 130M
[SND]J.D. Sparks - Straight Outta Woodbridge.mp32016-06-06 15:20 109M
[SND]J.D. Sparks - Timmy Hoes.mp32016-06-06 15:21 107M